News On Mike "Big Mike" Zagurski

First, an Animal House quote:

Neidermeyer: The following charges are brought: First, that the Delta house did knowingly violate the rules governing pledge recruitment by serving alcohol to freshmen during pledge week and after established drinking hours. Second, that for the fifth consecutive semester, Delta has achieved a deficient aggregate grade point average. Third, that the Delta fraternity routinely provided dangerous narcotic diet pills to its members during midterm examination week. And most recently...that a Roman toga party was held from which we have received two dozen reports of individual acts of perversion so profound and disgusting that decorum prohibits listing them here.

Otter: Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests - we did.

I got a case of March Sadness reading on the Phillies website that rookie reliever Mike Zagurski will probably have to get that Tommy John surgery, and that if he does, he’ll miss the entire 2008 season. For those of you who remember, he left the team in August last year with a hamstring injury, for which he also had surgery. He was back for Spring Training this year, competing for a pitching spot with a few other guys, but after leaving an intrasquad game favoring his elbow, what was originally thought to be a strain turned out to be nerve damage. Now, I’m no M.D., in fact, other members of the 2-1-5 may remember I barely graduated high school, but from what I understand Tommy John surgery has something to do with replacing a ligament in your elbow, which sounds fucking serious.

Zagurski started out his professional baseball career much like Ryan Dunn in Summer Catch pitching for the Batavia Muckdogs. He started out the 2007 season in single-A, and quickly graduated through double-A and triple-A, and when Brett Myers went on the DL May 25^th, Zagurski got called up to the Show. Although he was only in the bigs long enough for a cup of coffee, he recorded one win (against the NY Mets), no losses, 21 Ks in 21.1 innings pitched, and a devil-may-care, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants ERA of 5.9. On August 18, 2007, while attempting to field a ground ball off the bat of Ronny “Pauly” Paulino in Pittsburg, Zagurski tripped himself up and injured his hamstring, ending his ‘07 season.

Bottom line, I’m gonna miss him. Six-foot, 225, with an unkempt appearance, he was an unlikely hero. Which is why I mention Animal House…he was more of a Delta House member than a pro athlete, and all the members of the 2-1-5 enjoyed watching his blue-collar efforts on the mound last year. If he gets his surgery, I hope he recovers fully to play with the Fightins in 2009. Now, to end with another quote from Animal House…

Greg: What do you intend to do sir? Delta's already on probation.

Dean Wormer: They are?

Greg: Yes, sir.

Dean Wormer: Oh. Then as of this moment, they're on DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION!

Greg: Double Secret Probation, Sir?

Dean Wormer: There is a little-known codicil in the Faber College constitution which gives the dean unlimited power to preserve order in time of campus emergency. Find me a way to revoke Delta's charter…the time has come for someone to put their foot down. And that foot is me.

March Sadness

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

7 Days 'til the Fightins, But For Now...Predator Rap!

But for now, check out this awesomeness...



Stay tuned for Iverson's return...

An Apology For My Actions on St. Patrick's Day

First, I need to apologize to my family, for the state in which I left the kitchen, the bathroom, the TV room, and most of the backyard. A lot of the items I broke are replaceable, and I'm gonna get right on that. The items which I cannot replace will be glued together, if possible. I will do my best to clean the toilet, but I may need to replace that as well. Furthermore, I am aware that I woke up the entire family with the sound of projectile vomiting. Again, I am truly, truly sorry. The clothes I was wearing yesterday are already in the trash, so hopefully if we keep the windows open that smell will go away in a couple of days. Dad, I will re-sod the tire tracks on the lawn as soon as I am not hungover anymore.


Next, I would like to apologize to my friends. Look, we all pretty drunk...things were said, offensive things I realize, but I don't even remember significant portions of the night. Also, you guys won't have to carry me out of Finnegan's Wake ever again, I have learned my lesson the hard way. To Perfect Friend...well, lets just say I wasn't a 'perfect friend' when I urinated on the door handle of your car. To BC, keep ice on that, the swelling should go down in a few hours. Your support of "Back to the Future 2" as the best in the trilogy did not deserve a bar stool to the eyeball, I realize that now. To the girls in my contacts, I am sure you all received text messages which were inappropriate, perhaps even offensive. Look, I was drunk, OK? Diane, I don't even remember seeing you...Matt told me what I did. Damn, I'm just so sorry. Fuck.

To the employees of Lorenzo's, looking back on it, my speech may have been slurred to the point of incoherence, and may gait may been unwieldy and unpredictable. I understand fully why I was asked to leave.

To the tattoo guy at Old City...I will be back to have the other half of that Notre Dame logo completed, and also to pay you, I assure you. Your work in the medium of blacklight tattoos is impressive, I am sorry if I eluded otherwise the other night.

To the man I hit with my car, I hope you are cool, and not seriously injured or dead. If I had realized I was driving on the sidewalk, I would have definitely tried to steer back onto the road.

All in all, my actions on St. Patty's next year will be more controlled. Fewer carbombs, fewer Guinesses, and I will travel by way of taxi and public transportation.

Blacklight Tattoos

File this one in the archives under: Great Idea #1,092:

Blacklight tattoos.

For all those tattoos that you wanted to get...you know, like a cheesesteak on your face...FUCK YOU written across you forehead...maybe a giant pirate ship on your rib cage - all those great ideas you had for tattoos but were too scared to get can now be had as a blacklight tattoo.

It's the perfect invention for an indecisive age.

Can't decide on the President but want to show your support? Get a profile of Barack on your back and McCain on your chest (If you change your mind you can always get a nice color image of Hilary down by your good 'n plentys).

Into weed but don't think your boss will appreciate a pot leaf on the back of your hand?

Blacklight that shit.

Bam! Problem solved (unless your boss is real into blacklights himself).

Passionate about sports but do too much bandwagoning?

Blacklight blacklight blacklight.

You could have the Eagles on one bicep and the Cowboys on the other one. Just don't go flexing both arms at once.

You could even play a drinking game with it.

Everybody writes down a bunch of crazy tattoo ideas on paper and you all pick randomly.

In fact, I have a feeling that blacklight tattoo parlors would only be open from like midnight to 8 AM.

Imagine making a couple of late night blacklight tattoo parlor visits when you are blackout drunk.

The next time you get in front of a blacklight it will be like...wow, I am gay is written on my forearm....Steve's a jerk is written across my chest....Superfly is now tattooed on the shaft of my penis.

Okay, so greatest idea ever, right?

You're probably thinking: I am going to go out tonight and open a blacklight tattoo parlor. I'll be rich! Thanks Rob.

Or you're gonna do what I just did, which is: google blacklight tattoos.

I'll save you the effort and show you a blacklight tattoo here and another one here.

Also, this is a blacklight tattoo used to enhance a regular tattoo.

So it's already been invented, eh?

No big deal.

It could still be a pretty sweet band name.

The Other Playoff Race

While the Sixers are playing inspired basketball and gaining momentum going into the playoffs, the Flyers are slumping their way out of the playoffs. If the regular season ended today the Flyers would be in as the 8th seed set to play the NJ Devils, who have owned the Flyers this year and many years before. However, Buffalo sits one point behind the Flyers with Washington and Florida only two back. The next nine games for the Flyers are going to be huge, especially after they were beat 7-1 today in a laugher in Pittsburgh, a team they place twice more this season. Thrown in two games against the Devils, the Rangers, and the Islanders, and Tuesday's game against Atlanta and thats the season. The Flyers pretty much have to beat the Thrashers, sweep the Islanders, and maybe the Rangers too (they have three more points than the Flyers and could be passed in the standings) in order to have a chance. If they can pull off a win against either the Devils or Pens it would be huge. If they can win six games they have a good shot to be in the postseason, maybe five if they can force some overtime games (1 point for an OT loss).

The Flyers have gone 5-6 since their terrible 10 game losing streak but have lost their last 4, two in overtime, giving up 2 and three goal leads each time. Just as the team seemed to be getting back to health, Mike Richards returned with a goal on Satuarday and Joffery Lupul is back, they lose Darien Hatcher for the rest of the season with a broken leg and RJ Umberger is reported to be out for a week or two after spraining a knee in todays game. Randy Jones is also out and of course, Simon Gagne is out with Eric Lindros-esque concussion symptoms. The defense is really thin right now.

Its tough to pinpoint what this team is or isn't doing now that it was when they were winning and once upon a time on top of the entire Eastern conference. Marty Biron hasn't looked good lately, yet Nitty has only had a handful of starts over the past ten or so games. The powerplay isn't what it was earlier in the season but the Flyers still rank 2nd in the league. Scott Hartnell has gone silent. Hopefully Richards' return will really help the lineup. Overall, the Flyers seem to lack consistent effort throughout games, having defensive lapses and allowing teams to get back into games. Is that on John Stevens as a coach? A lack of leadership in the locker room? I'm not sure.

The next three weeks will determine everything for the Flyers. Earlier this season they seemed like Philly's best shot at a championship while now they are fighting just to get in to the playoffs. I suggest tuning in to a game, particularly one of the Rangers or Penguins games (if you want to see a fight), even if hockey isn't really your thing. The Flyers are a good Philly team and they deserve the support of the City. Hopefully they make the playoffs and surprise somebody in the first round, but I am getting ahead of myself. One thing is for sure, the Flyers newest enforcer, Riley Cote, (seen in three pics here) is a great fighter and fun to watch, he used to wear my favorite number (33), and not a bad player to go with it. By the way, the man being punished by Mike Richards is NHL points leader Alex Ovechkin, not exactly a fighter.

LETS GO FLYERS

Better than the Best Sex with Oshun, the AfroCarribean Godess of Sex

Everyone is familiar with the Macho Man Randy Savage from his days in the Square Circle. Savage was know for delivering the most serious smackdown in the storied history of sports entertainment. However never content with with being a one trick pony, Savage has entered into the rap game. With powerful and delicious results.

In perhaps the freshest debut disk to drop of all time, Savage delivers cut after classic cut of raw and powerful street verse. Directly from the corners, Savage's hypnotic and boastful rhymes tell it how it is. Backed by melodic and bumping beats courtesy of DJ Kool, who delivers on his name sake, the disk is a musical journey through the concrete jungle that is not to be believed by mere mortal men. Savage urges his listeners to "put their face in it" and they can only justly conclude that "they are not ready."

In the signature and cutting edge single "Be a Man," Savage delivers a full frontal blitzkrieg on Hulk Hogan. In verse after hard hitting verse, Savage unleashes the four horsemen on Hogan, belittling his manhood and Hulkamania. Hogan has yet to respond in kind. Truly Hogan is not real in street and as Savage points out Hogan's "acting and his movies are both trash." The Macho Man has no need to even make this powerful piece of prose rhyme, it's realness can be found in its poignant truth and the fierce street cred that Savage boasts. In deed, Savages' name is known through out the rough and rugged urban heart land where his CD will no doubt be an immediate chart topper.

Savage gets gutter and spews some of the sickest and most introspective verses of all time. In "Perfect Friend," Savages' powerful baritone laments the passing of fellow Face turned Heel Mr. Perfect. Savage is backed by a soulful and, most would agree, beautiful R&B hook; which swoons back and forth and makes even the most hardened member of the street team want to remember his dunns. He does have the Perfect Friend's back, buddy system style.

The passion and pride of the CD is apparent from the first fist pumping moment when Macho's producer introduces the newest playa in the game with the skill and ability of a young DJ Clue. The CD is simply too powerful for words and hence a star rating would not even do it justice.