Tuesday, July 15, 2008


Dear The Spectrum,

We will miss you. We will miss the sticky floors, the seats directly behind concrete pillars, the boozy tailgating before concerts, the way clouds of smoke would float above the crowd at Phish shows. We will miss minor-league hockey, indoor soccer, princesses on ice, and everything else your wonderful venue provided for us after the Comcast Center became the new home of the Sixers and Flyers.

We are going to miss you, dear Spectrum. Sure, maybe minor-league hockey, indoor soccer, and princesses on ice aren't that big of a draw these days. And sure, maybe you are parked boldly in front of progress, playing a game of chicken with the Future. And sure, maybe I personally won't miss actually being inside your venue, but I am going to miss you.

You know when I'm going to miss you? When I am eating grilled mahi mahi with mango salsa before Phillies games, shopping at Nautica and Eddie Bauer at the halftime of Birds' games, paying $8.50 for a beer because I can no longer tailgate in the parking lot, and sleeping in one of the new hotels erected on your spot because drinking and driving has become "too dangerous."

I am going to miss the way you and The Vet used to hang out together, bragging about chick stadiums you used to bang while pounding a couple warm tallboys of Busch Light. You and the Vet, spitting on opposing teams' fans, making little kids cry, refusing to wipe the cheez-whiz off your mouth, dipping Skoal and smoking cigarettes at the same time. Giving each other black eyes just for the hell of it.

You two were the shit. Now, these fancy boys are showing up. Sure the Linc is pretty intimidating, and the Bank is pretty boozy, but without you there to guide them, they are going to forget their roots. A couple of years from now, the Linc and the Bank are going to see a passed out drunk chick covered in her own vomit. They will be a little confused, thinking "Isn't there something I am supposed to be doing right now?" Then they will look in your direction for guidance, and the only thing they will see is some high-end boutiques, too-fancy "sports" bars, and a hotel with more clean linen then you, dear Spectrum, have ever laid eyes on. And instead of getting a gentle prodding from you, saying things like "Go on, take her pants off," they will instead just alert the proper authorities, and someone will come and clean her up and escort her to the game.

It's going to be a scary world without you, you king among men.

Hopefully they will give you a true and honorable send-off befitting of your majestical place in Philadelphia sports lore. I am talking, of course, about sticks of dynamite jammed into every crevice of your structure, resulting in a 6 AM implosion where you crumble to a pile of rubble and dust.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

A Brand New Beginning

Oh you like that title don't you. ZING! It's the truth though. With the signing of Elton Brand the Sixers have begun their next era. Simultaneously, I think I just might have shaken that 2 year hang over left by Allen Iverson's departure. Besides being the most compelling and exhilarating player this city has ever seen, Iverson made the Sixers relevant every night. Sure we didn't quite win a championship or even go deep into the playoffs every year, but we had an identity. The last two years were difficult for me as a Sixers fan having only known an Iverson led squad since middle school. I ordered the NBA league package to watch the Nuggets play--I needed my fix. I probably paid more attention and rooted harder for the Nuggets at times last year than for my hometown Sixers. I can't say I am ashamed; it was what I looked forward to most as a basketball fan. It was comfort food like mom's baked ziti or veal cutlets.

All this changed when the Sixers signed Elton Brand last week. We entered a new era and became relevant instantly. I have spent the past week reading NBA analyst after analyst praise the Sixers for their bold move and even call us "contenders in the East." You kiddin me!? I haven't heard that since 2001. There are months ahead of day dreaming about Iggy dumping the ball down to Brand in the East conference championships as he punishes a Kevin Garnett or Anderson Varejao on the low block time and time again. Maybe Elton will kick it out to LouWill for a sweet, sweet 3. Or dish it to a cutting Iggy for a monstrous jam that will send the Wachovia Center into an uproar. Maybe he will throw an 'oop over his head, off the backboard to a flying Sammy D who will certainly improve on an already stellar campaign last year (Sammy D an All-Star? Ben Wallace did it...I'm just sayin!). The possibilities are endless.

Dude looks great in that jersey...not to mention, did we get new jerseys?

We have already looked into season ticket packages on the The2-1-5 here. A friend made a Brand t-shirt jersey with only a white tee and a black Sharpie and received plenty of love at the Phils' game.

The Sixers are back baby!

(Now the Sixers probably need a two guard who can score to really put them over the top...and I know this one guy who is going to be a free agent at the end of the year...I know, I know, I know, but I'm just sayin baby I'm just sayin...)

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Why I Love Local Sports Radio (Or Really Just ESPN 950)

So I do a good amount of radio listening at work these days. I have speakers on my computer and jump around from listening to music, national sportsradio, local sportsradio, PTI or other podcasts, and even some NPR from time to time. I usually tune into Mike Missanelli at 3pm.

I have emailed Mikey Miss twice and have had both emails read on air. You could say I'm batting 1.000 or heating up if you will. Here is my last piece from a few weeks ago that was called "impressive" and "very well written." I was flattered and totally pumped for the rest of the day at work.

"Hey Mike, enjoy the show.
I first thought Imus and bigots like him should absolutely be fired for their disgusting comments, but by giving him a forum he becomes a talking point for people to address the bigotry he exudes. Having such a bad stigma attached to him and his comments asserts that speech like that is unacceptable and disgusting, the hope being that people will think twice before speaking like him and maybe think harder about tuning in and therefore supporting him and his beliefs.

He actually read my full name (and pronounced it correctly) and I have even received a few letters from my growing fan base.

Anyway I am here to officially endorse ESPN 950. This town has enough sports negativity and doesn't need that "other station" and especially that "other guy" reminding us about it everyday.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

From Mike & Mike in the Morning (Or, Why I Hate National Radio)

"Lots of big news today....CC gets his first win, Harden gets traded, and Elton Brand is headed to Philly. But by far, the biggest news today, Brett Favre may be coming out of retirement!"

Give me. A fucking. Break.