The Philly Phanatic. That motherfucker is always up to something. He is a giant bird, very very green, hails from the Galapagos, loves smashing other teams equipment, and once burned Tommy Lasorda in effigy.
What a fucking crazy asshole.
Whenever I'm at Phillies games, I see him running around, dancing on the dugout, driving drunk through the infield on a quad, just doing totally crazy shit. One time he had a whole bag full of free t-shirts and hats and stuff...he gave the entire thing to some hard body sitting in the front row.
Plus he does this really great thrusting dance.
I'm spoiled. I get to see this guy hamming it up with the fans and hurling insults at the opposing team all the fucking time.
If you were a baseball fan from Wichita or Seattle or Pismo Beach you would only ever see this guy on SportsCenter every once in a while, when he does something truly outlandish. Not me. I get him 24 fucking 7.
Me and the Philly Phanatic.