Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Cal Ripken Busted in Steroid Scandal (Brother Billy leaked the evidence)

You know what, we need a new day for April Fool's. Every time I see a goofy headline on the first of April, I immediately get suspicious, it's like the fun is gone.

And this year, April fool's was the same day as Opening Day. I couldn't really be bothered with pulling any pranks when I'm worried about those Phightins. And I had big plans to post a blog here that would involve some trickery, maybe a little haberdashery, but I was too busy sucking down Lager Bottles.

Whattaya gonna do?

How about make April Fool's a free-for-all? So long as you pull a prank in the month of April, I say it's fair game.

Glue-ing your roommate to the floor? Check, so long as it is done in April. Telling your boyfriend you're pregnant? All's fair in love and war, and the month of April.

How 'bout this one: Mail a big box of porn to a made-up address, and put the return address of someone who is either married or still lives with their parents. Just check your calendar ahead of time.

So good talk, we'll go ahead and call this April Fool's Days, maybe April Fool's Month.

Whatever you want, so long as you're pulling pranks.

And I will leave you with this little tidbit, definitely not made up, but I wish it was:

Years ago, Jason Varitek and Derek Lowe were traded for Heathcliff Slocumb. Also, David Ortiz was traded for Dave Hollins.

Factor in Terry Francona and Curt Schilling, and it's like Philly gave Boston that championship.

Go Phils! Santana who?

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