When Threesomes Go Bad

So I'm watching a porno the other day...

Things are going great.

The girl is really hot, the lighting is good, and it has a can't miss plot (babysitter unable to pay for pizza she ordered).

All of a sudden, the front door opens and in walks the mom, or, I guess I should say, MILF.

She immediately joins the action with a line like, "the only person sucking that pizza boy's dick is gonna be me."

Actually, that's exactly what she said.

So the one-on-one action quickly turns into a threesome.

Even better, right?

Two heads are better than one, as they say, and four boobs are better than two.

It's like adding a pickle to a sandwich, or beers to a baseball game.

Except for one problem.

This "MILF" is nowhere near as hot as the babysitter.

Not only that, but she is much more aggressive and "in your face."

Basically, the babysitter gets relegated to background duty.

You can't see her, because the "MILF" is constantly in the way, and you can't hear her, because the "MILF" is screaming (unsexily) at the top of her lungs.

So I was faced with the rare situation where something that should have been an improvement turned out to be the exact opposite.

Now the reason I bring this up (other than the fact that I am now officially blogging about pornography and thus combining two great pasttimes), is that something similar is happening in the local Philadelphia sports radio scene.

For those that don't know, Sports Radio 950 is located a few notches up the dial from rival 610 WIP, and let me tell you, the air is much crisper up there.

In the mornings, when I still listened to 610, I used to be subject to Angelo Cataldi and his wackjob cronies that would call in. Now I am all for the Wing Bowl, but I don't need to hear about grown men eating three cartons of eggs and a tub of sour cream at 8 AM when I am trying to hold down some booze.

My drive home was subject to Howard Eskin, who certainly knew enough about the Eagles, but, as the saying goes, "he's not wrong, he's just an asshole."

So one day I heard about 950 and switched over.

Things were great!

I listened to Michael Bradley and Glenn Foley, or "G-Fols," in the morning. Bradley's straight up sports knowledge and Foley's outlook and insights as a former player were a nice combination, and we were having a great time.

On the drive home, I listened to Jody Mac, a legitimate sports talk host, who always had his ear to the ground about the latest buzz, specifically the Eagles.

So just when I think things can't get any better, I hear that SR 950 is now becoming 950 AM ESPN.

Alright! The worldwide leader coming to Philadelphia!

Can't miss, right?

Actually, just like adding a girl with a bad boob job and beat-up pussy to a previously great porno, it can.

Glenn Foley was fired and Bradley was taken off the air, while Jody Mac was moved to mid-day, which I will not be able to listen to.

ESPN went and plugged Mike and Mike in the morning slot. Great guys, but they are a nationally syndicated show, and there will be no local flavor.

Mike Missanelli will be taking over the drime home slot, which I personally think kind of sucks. He may hate Eskin as much as me, but he is not that much better.

So things went from great, to supposedly even better.

Except not at all.

The Philadelphia attitude is gone from the show, and they will sound like every other sports station in America.

So, to all those suits thinking "Hey, how can we make something great even better? Should we add a sixth blade to our razor? Chocolate milk to our booze? A third nipple to our porn stars?"

The answer, at least in my opinion, is sometimes its best to leave well enough alone.

Except for that third nipple idea...that's gold)